Hi everyone and sorry.. I forgot the blog completely.. ;p

Just because I'm so happyyy! I went home (I mean to my Mom's place) for Christmas and met also my ex BFF Sofia.. and now we're friends again! I don't know if it's because of Christmas or what.. She just told me she understood (finally) that what she was doing was stupid and that what I did was the right thing to do and that I'm a good friend.. To me it didn't really matter if she'd apologize or not, I just wanted to get my friend back! So, whoever made her understand this.. Thank you! :)

Got an interesting call last night.. It was Sofia, telling me how bad person I am and that I just wanted her to leave, so that I could keep both of the guys to myself... I tried to explain the real reasons and that I haven't even met the guys after Sofia left, but.. She didn't believe me.. :/

No comments..

It's been a while from the last time I wrote.. I actually forgot I ever started writing this blog.

However, a lot has changed since January..
First, in the end of summer I moved in Helsinki and have been living here for a couple of months now, with my best friend Sofia.
Second, I moved here because of my studies.. I got accepted in a school and that's why I had to move.
Third, studying is not the only reason that made me move here..


It all started on Friday 16th. I had just finished a long week of work in McDonald's (I think everyone already knew that's where I work) and just wanted to stay at home and relax. Watch TV or read something. But Sofia (my BFF) had other plans. She called me, telling me she wants to go out, to "our" club. It had been almost two months since we went there last time on that Friday 20th, in January. I guess I got a little scared of what happened that night. So, after that I had spent all weekends helping Mom at home, playing with my sister, snuggling on the couch with my boyfriend (not telling his name because I don't want him to get involved in this) watching a movie or something like that. And EVERY weekend Sofia asked me to go out with her. And I ALWAYS found an excuse to stay at home.. But, since nothing strange had happened in a while (no raven attacks or anything), I decided to go. It was also Sofia's birthday on 17th, so I REALLY couldn't say no. :D

First, when we got into the club, we ordered our favorite drinks (piña colada..yummy!) and headed to the dance floor. Then a couple of drinks more, but not many. Then we danced until we got tired and went to get a table. We had been sitting there for a while, when I saw them.. Two guys, about our age, staring at us! Not that other guys weren't looking at us, but there was something different in these two. I just couldn't tell what..

They stopped next to our table and we started talking.. They told they were just visiting the town and I'm sure you can guess where they told they're living.. In Helsinki, of course.. It starts to make sense, right..? However, they're actually not from Finland at all, but they told they're both here because of their studies, as exchange students.. I've always been interested in other cultures.. So, wow.. I got really interested now. Okay, not in THAT way, because I already had the best boyfriend I could imagine and I would never betray him.. But talking to other guys is not betraying, is it?;o They told they came here from Italy.. Which I should have guessed from their brown eyes and dark hair.. And also from their names, Gabriel and Lucas. We stayed with these guys for the rest of the night until the club was closed and it was time for us (Sofia & I) to go home.. I really had fun and I'm sure Sofia did, also. :)

But this doesn't really explain the third reason I moved in Helsinki.. Why would I do it for some guys I only met once? Well, actually we didn't meet them only once.. Because the next weekend we went to that club and there they were again.. What a coincidence! Or was it? Since then we started going to that club almost every weekend.. I'm not sure why.. But we both felt like we had to see them again..and again..
We continued like this for a month or two.. Being always too tired to do anything else.. I even quit my job in McDonald's, telling everyone I did it because I need to get ready for the entrance examinations of schools.. Actually I wasn't getting prepared for them at all.. But somehow I got accepted in one school, just not the one I really wanted to get in. I think I was getting myself in big problems and people around me could sense that. My mom was really worried and so was my boyfriend, but I told them everything was okay.. Because I really thought so. I didn't really understand what I was doing. And neither did Sofia..

So, in the end of this summer we got an apartment in Helsinki and moved.. I went to school and Sofia got a job in a barbershop, as she is a hairdresser. And every weekend we went out, with those two guys. I told Mom I had so many things to study that I really didn't have time to go home in weekends.. But the story didn't work with my boyfriend.. He didn't believe me. After a while he told he had enough of lies and the thing that we never met anymore.. So, he broke up with me.. :( That kind of woke me up and brought me back to this reality. What the hell had I done all this time? I had been so stupid.. I had lied to people around me, spent all my money for going out every weekend and failed everything I should have been doing..

I realized this about a month ago.. I decided to put my life back in order and stop being stupid. I told about this to Sofia, but she was looking at me like I was crazy. She didn't agree with me. She thought there was nothing bad or wrong in what we had been doing and that life is supposed to be just fun. So, she decided to continue in the same way.. But I told her and the guys that I wouldn't be going out anymore, except for school and work, if I only can get a job somewhere. Sofia got really mad with me at first, but after a while she said she doesn't even care. That I can do whatever I want. So, since then, I've been studying and looking for a job, while she continued partying and even got fired, because she's always too tired to work..

And what I did next, makes me feel like I have betrayed my best friend.. But I did it for her own good. About a week ago I called her mom and told what she's doing and everything. Then her mom told her to come back home immediately, and even though Sofia is 18 and can already decide of her own life, she had to go back, because her mom told her that if she didn't, her family would never speak to her anymore. I know her life is not my business, but we have known each other since we were kids and I feel like she's my sister and I have to take care of her.. I wish eventually she will understand and forgive me.. What do you, guys, think? Did I do the right thing?

Now I'm here, all alone..

The past week was.. Interesting.

Last thing I wrote a week ago was about those bite marks and how to explain them to my boyfriend.. Well, I didn't explain. Actually, I was avoiding him until weekend, telling him I'm too tired after work etc.. Luckily in the weekend those marks had faded away and I could finally meet him.. Hoping he won't see through me and know what I've done. Whatever it is. 'Cause even I don't know it.

At least I didn't really lie when I said I'm tired.. Except that I'm not only tired.. I'm DEAD tired. Hehe.. Maybe I shouldn't be joking about it, since my workmates and even my Mom (who, btw, happens to be a nurse) told me I'm so white I look like a ghost. And I kinda feel like ghost, too. I barely remember how I went through last week at work. People told me I should stay at home and rest but.. I really need money and.. After all the creepy things I don't really feel like staying at home alone.

Yep, those birds, they're still following me.. Or I'm  still being paranoid. And, as a nice little add-on, now I feel also like there's something more than those birds watching me.. Luckily nobody knows who I really am, so I won't be taken to the nearest (mental) hospital. :D


Should I talk about this to someone?

However, it's "late" already.. And I'm putting it like that, 'cause I don't really think it's late, but.. we have certain rules in this house..^^ I'll try to write again tomorrow. :)

Dear Blog (or whatever I should write here)..

I haven’t been writing a journal for a couple of years  and this blog thing, it’s something new for me. I never really had anything to write about. But in the past few days things have changed. Now I finally have something to tell.. I just don’t know whether it’s good or not..

Everything started about a week ago.. Actually a week and three days ago.. On Friday 13^th!

I was just leaving from work, so it was about 4pm. I’m working at a fastfood restaurant that used to be the first one on top 20 list.. Until the end of 2010. However, when I was getting in my car (brown Chrysler Neon 2,0 LE that was a birthday present from my Dad on my 18^th birthday), I felt like something wasn’t right.. It was too silent at the parking lot. But probably I’ve just watched too much of TV, so I’ve become paranoid.. After that weird moment passed, I drove home.

I live with my Mom and little sister in a small flat in a kind of row house or whatever it is, (two rooms, lil kitchen/livingroom and a bathroom.. But I’d concider it small for us, since my sister has to sleep in my room..) about 20 minutes drive from the city center. We used to live in a detached house, until my Dad left Mom for another woman two years ago..

When I arrived home, there was something freaky going on. There were THOUSANDS of RAVENS on our little backyard! Well, at least a hundred.. or fifty.. Anyway, a LOT! All making the same creepy sound.. But when I tried to pass them so that I could reach the front door and get in, they all took off and started flying around like crazy. SUPERCREEPY! But they all disappeared before Mom came home from work (she’s a nurse).

After that I had a perfectly normal weekend, shopping and partying with my best friend, Sofia. The next week was almost as normal as the weekend. I just still had that feeling.. Like there was someone (or something) watching me wherever I go.. No, I’m not mad, I’m just tired. ^^

But being tired doesn’t explain what happened on this Friday (20^th).. When I came from work, the front door wasn’t locked.. And we always make sure it is.. Of course someone, like my lovely sister, might have forgotten to lock it when she was leaving in the morning.. But still..  I had a bad feeling about it. And when I got in, there was something wrong in the house, but can’t tell what. But when I checked, there were no footsteps (except mine) on the snow in front of our house, so.. Maybe I just needed to take a nap to get rid of my paranoia. And of course I didn’t tell anyone about.. Anything. Neither to my Mom, sister or even “BFF” or boyfriend..
On Saturday I had already forgotten what happened, thanks to Sofia, who took me out for shopping and later.. to our favourite club! ;) No, we weren’t (or at least I wasn’t) there hunting (guys) or being hunted, but just to relax a little after the long week.. Because I already have a sweet boyfriend and I would never betray or change him. I swear I wouldn't!


That's why it's more than strange that when I woke up yesterday (on Sunday) - which was quite late - I had some bruises on my neck.. And I can still say, honestly, I would NEVER betray my boyfriend.. Neither, when I'm drunk.. I'm sure about it. 


But I have a total blackout of what happened at the club or how I came home.. And even though I don't want to lie to him, I didn't meet my boyfriend after Saturday. I don't know how to explain the bruised, because I really have no idea of how I got them. Neither does Sofia. When I asked her about it, she said we spent all night together, until we left the club and last time she saw me in front of our house.. Oh, and the most interesting part.. Those bruises look a lot like vampire bite marks.. So, if anyone has been wondering why I called this blog as I did, here's the answer. :D 


Guess this is enough for now.. Or that's what my sister thinks. So.. Later!